Who, What, When, Where

I am 27 years old. I have cried many times and most people in my life have hurt me deeply. I began to genuinely laugh after I met the Lord Jesus Christ 10 years ago. For 7 years I fought another battle. My delight in the Lord and the heartbreaking contradiction of church community sent me to fulfill my needs elsewhere. I sought in making money, in academic achievement, in romantic relationships but none of these did the cut. For 3 years I have lived in a community that has affirmed who the Lord says I am. I have grown academically and spiritually. Great awareness has been brought in terms of ministry, profession, personality and values. But I have found the one thing that really matters. And that is that God is always with me wherever I go and that when I enjoy his company I can enjoy most everything else in life. I refuse to embark in the journey of control the world has succumbed to. I don't fully know who I am, and that's okay. I don't fully know what I'm going to do for the next 10 years, and that's okay. I don't know when I'll be..., and that's okay. I don't know where I'll be, and that's okay. Everyone is trying to make their world safe. But no human being could ever make anything about their world safe. No matter how much control one chooses to exert, things still go wrong, you still get heartbroken, you still make mistakes. What is most important is Who is with you when those happen. And there's only one person who is strong enough to take all that junk. That person is Jesus. I choose Him.

In the Now

In August it was very apparent that the Lord was getting ready to do something entirely new and exciting in my life. Little did I know this was going to mean that life as it was before was going to change dramatically. My roles of student, worker, friend, family member, you name it. All has dramatically changed. I simply cannot operate the way I used to. The significant lessons are primarily that I must be who I am at all times. I must not allow my circumstances or others' expectations of me to alter the way in which I want to deal with the circumstances in my life. The second big lesson is that there is simply no life plan. There is nothing ahead that should be more precious than what is in front of me right now. I cannot possibly want something I yet have more than something I have and I actually want. By being present and simply being a human being who honors God and her fellow bretheren in the now has made all the difference. I'm still working through some things but there is an incredible amount of freedom, peace and joy that comes with not knowing or worrying about tomorrow. Here is to living in the now folks. Cheers.