What Does Love Look Like?

We are living in the age of the reformation of apostolic ministry. We love the miraculous. We love prophecy. We love healing. We love the manifestations of Holy Spirit, and we want to operate in love. But what exactly does it mean to love? I keep thinking about how love is the highest form of prophetic ministry.

The most powerful encounters I've ever had with another person have come from the deep love I feel for them. It is a love that overtakes me. It is not a love of  my own. I cannot love this way on my own. I don't know how to. My flesh does not know how to. I don't know how to love people when I cannot understand them. I don't know how to love people when I disagree with them. I don't know how to love people when they fail me, when they betray me, when I feel offended, hurt or persecuted by them. I don't know how to love.

It requires a supernatural presence in my life for me to love them and to love them well. Loving well is not the same as tolerating someone. Loving well requires for me to be concerned for their lives. Loving well requires for me to be able to weep for them, and hurt where they hurt and mourn when they are mourning. Loving well is the most supernatural thing we will ever do.

The same words keep ringing in my ear throughout the week: My disposition is to love not to do. I spend all day doing things. I work. I look for things to do. I look for projects to engage in. I look for tasks to finish. I look for emails to write, messages to respond, places to go and responsibilities to attend. I look, and I search, and I am restless, and I get caught up so much in what I have to do that I forget to love. I forget about those around me. I don't want to be inconvenienced. I don't want my schedule to be disrupted. I do, and I do, and I do some more, and then I wonder why there were not more people that I was able to pray for, connect with, preach the gospel to and to share life with.

A few weeks ago I said to God I was very tired.  I told Him it was very tiring to do ministry always, no matter where I went. He said it was very tiring because now I do not belong to a particular church anymore, but I belong to everybody. I belong to everybody. I belong to everybody. Then why do I act like my life is my own? I serve a humble King who gave His life for everybody. I serve a humble King who lived in complete surrender to His Father and gave His body away for the love of every person in the world. Why am I keep things just for me? I, also, belong everybody.

I belong to every single person I encounter. I want to love every person with the highest sense of love. That is the true miraculous: The most miraculous thing I could ever do is love like Jesus. The most miraculous thing I could ever do is love like Jesus. The most miraculous thing I could ever do is love like Jesus. So why do we act like the most miraculous thing we could ever do is heal the sick? Why do we act like the most miraculous thing we could ever do is lead someone to faith? Why do we  act like the most miraculous thing we could ever do is pray and see manifestations from heaven?

Love lives in heaven. The Love that gave all of it away lives in heaven. The highest form of the miraculous is love.

I ask you to ask yourselves the same questions I have asked myself this week: Can I love with all me those I disagree with, those who persecute me, those who hurt me, those who betray me, those who abandon me? Can I love miraculously? Can I love out of the love of the Father and not out of my own?

See, I could only truly love out of the true love Who loves me. I could only impart that which I am receiving continuously. When I change my disposition to do instead of to love, I have abandoned my position as a daughter. My position as a daughter is always to be loved, and if I am loved unlimitedly then I have to love others unlimitedly as well. I have to pour out of that unlimited well of love.

Love is the most supernatural thing we'll ever see. I learned this week the power of love when there was an opportunity for me to be hurt and angry over a small situation, and the Spirit of the living God spoke to me:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

And all I could feel as I heard and read those words was this supernatural love coming over me and overtaking me. It was the supernatural love of God. I transitioned into loving more than I ever had. And then I realized this is where I am supposed to live. We are called to live out of the unlimited love of God. That is how we love God back. That is how we follow His commandments. That is how we are able to lay our lives down for others.

I heard Heidi Baker preach for the first time last night and it was a confirmation of what the Lord has been doing in me throughout this week. I want to be a layed down lover. I want to go real low because I serve a King who went to the lowest for the sake of love.

Am I willing to go to the lowest for the sake of love? Am I willing to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things? I'm willing to do it as Daughter. I'm willing to do it for the sake of love.

Are you?

Consistent Freedom and Progress

I have been thinking about the following things for a couple of weeks now:

How do I consistently make good choices? How do I systematically choose what is right for me and those around me? What is my disposition to be like? How do I cater to God and His will for my life on an daily/hourly/minute-by-minute basis? How do I cater to the Church and how can I see my purpose be consistently fulfilled?

And I realized that these questions have plagued me for a very very long time. I cannot tell you how many times I have made agreements with myself and God. I have made vows I have not kept. I have made dramatic decisions and have come up with dramatic resolutions. I have tried my best to keep my life and my decisions under control. I have done this with every habit, every inclination and desire of my heart.

This has happened with everything that has taken too much of my time, or my energy or my well-being. I have abandoned things dramatically and then I have committed to something new. I would commit to other things consistently, and then I would feel bad for breaking the rules I placed over myself. I would delve into self-condemnation for not being able to keep my word.

I have gone back and forth between having incredibly strict schedules to being way way too loose. I have tormented myself far too often. At times, It was God who told me I could no longer jump into those dramatic commitments. At other times, He insisted on having me keep the vows I made Him -because God is serious about vows. I was 29 years old and I still had no direction in what could possibly be a solution. That is until I began to be discipled by Torrey Marcel Harper.

If you know anything about my pastor, you will know that he rides the waves of the Lord. He goes where Holy Spirit leads Him in whichever way, shape or form; at whatever time. He simply... goes. It is so simple it boggles the mind of many of us who have operated under a religious spirit and who have allowed control to rule over our lives. The concept is simple yet the execution is a lot more complex. I have struggled with it over and over again. I let God have His way and then I work extra hard to keep it the way He commanded it the last time He spoke. It is sometimes as if I was leading a double life. I let Him have His way, and then I have it my way by living life out of the last thing He said.

God is always moving. He never changes. But His strategies are different. Every battle the people of Israel won were conquered by a divine new strategy released from the heavens. Every time they went into battle the strategy was different. Do you ever wonder why God doesn't do things in the exact same way again and again? I know why. Firstly, He is all too great to be reduced to one manifestation. Second, if He always worked the way we expect, then we would be god. We would be the ones commanding Him to work because we followed the recipe.

So if God is always moving, and there is always a strategy for everything He is doing in our lives, then what is God's strategy for me today? What will He have me do and how will He have me move? Would I be okay with starting my day going for a run and letting Him speak to me through it? What if He wanted the day to be started with worship? What if it was prayer? What if He placed the spirit of intercession to be with me all day? There is something about riding the waves of the Lord and being perfectly safe there. Some of us are not completely ignorant to this. But some of us also know that we only use this for ministry. We don't focus on carrying the glory the Lord, and to truly be glory carriers, we need to ride the waves 24/7. We need to ride them at work, at church, at home and everywhere. We need to ride the waves of the Lord anytime and anywhere. That is our true security and safety.

So I can no longer make big dramatic decisions. I am not in control. I am not my own. I need to make mostly small obedient decisions. I need to make decisions that are good for me. I need to choose to write when the Spirit leads, read when the Spirit leads, spend time with my loved ones when and how the Spirit leads. But for the most part, we have used this expression quite flippantly. We talk about the Spirit leading as if He only leads sometimes and in specific ways. The Spirit could actually lead the entire time, if we wouldn't insist on leading ourselves- like we usually do.

Most of the greatest things that have every been built have been erected by people who made really great, small, consistent decisions. They were not built dramatically and quick. Dramatic and quick doesn't work. Dramatic and quick doesn't last. Dramatic and quick is the house built on the sand. But when we take our time, and we let our Great Artist lead the creative process, the most majestic work of art is created. And guess what? We take none of the glory. We don't even know or understand what He is doing until we see the finished process. And it is amazing, mind-blowing and provoking in more ways than one.

Who's going to hold the brush of your life from now on? Who will choose the colors? Let Him do it in His timing and His way. The greatest work you have ever seen is in process. Will you say yes to the Great Artist and His creative process?

"The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8 ESV

Deliverance and the Breakthrough Wave

I spent the week with many fears, many reservations, many intimidations. I spent the week without knowing what I was doing- doubting myself. I was doubting the call of God on my life. I spent the
week in mourning. I spent the week grieving. I spent the week not knowing what or where or when. I spent the week and I avoided relying on Him completely. I was tired. I didn't have enough sleep. Everything was happening so fast. I didn't get a chance to breathe. I didn't get a chance to figure out what was happening. How did things change up on me so quickly? How do I reroute and redirect now? I was unsure and frustrated. I didn't know where I was going.

And then Wednesday night came, and there it was- smacking me in the face. It was the truth. The truth that I wasn't submitting to the Lordship of the Spirit of the Living God. The truth that I wasn't trusting Him completely. The truth that I had built an idol in my mind and in my emotions. The truth that I wasn't completely dependent on Him- that I was letting my emotions rule and my old default mechanisms have their way. This was the truth. And the truth hurt. The truth was uncomfortable. And receiving this truth made me think that if I let it have its full work in me, I am never going to stop crying. I was faced with the truth, and then a lie wanted to keep me from it.

I'm getting delivered from the old Anel. Most of the times I don't even realize that it is the old Anel. Most of the times I think it is perhaps a personality thing. I think it is something that it's exclusive to my journey. Most of the time I don't let myself be completely healed because that is "just the way I think" or "Just the way I feel".

But I'm getting free right now.

On Monday night, so many emotions were ruling. I have been in this walk long enough to know that when it comes to deliverance, rebuking things doesn't really work. Accepting and rejecting gets the job done. So I rejected my own emotions. I rejected my own thoughts. And then, I accepted the still small voice of Holy Spirit, and the full revelation from heaven. At that moment, I saw this huge wave coming and washing everything away. The wave of the Lord came and made me anew. And then the new Anel showed up, and I couldn't remember why I had been so upset. I couldn't remember why my emotions were taking such a strong residence in my decisions. I couldn't access the old Anel, and I didn't want to.

The challenge then becomes living in the continual wave. Letting God lead you and become your only security is a sure scary thing to do. It is, however, the most amazing thing we'll ever do in our entire lives. I have nothing of my own. But I can do everything through Him and I can do anything in Him.

See, the old Anel only had herself. But the new Anel has Christ in her, the Hope of Glory. He is her hope. He is her shield. He is her security. In fact, she is not secure unless she is secure in Him. So now is the time to welcome Holy Spirit's full work:

I welcome the wave of the Lord. I let it wash away everything that is not ruled by the Spirit of the Living God. Everything that is not love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. I welcome everything that is You, God. I welcome the breaker anointing. Break through everything in my life and lead me in your breakthrough to others. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

I believe the Lord is teaching us how to be established in our breakthrough in this season. It is not enough with praying and getting a revelation. We must now learn to live out of that revelation. It's like packing our bags immediately and deciding somewhere else will be our home. But He cannot give us all of the revelation at once. We now need to learn to live from revelation to revelation and from glory to glory. Sometimes He will lead us with a cloud by day. Sometimes He will lead us with a fire by night. Sometimes we will go behind the veil and dwell with the Holy of holies. Sometimes we will encounter Him in the mountain and He will give us instructions. Sometimes a burning bush will appear and we will stop running away. However God chooses to reveal Himself and lead us, our position is always to follow and to say yes. This is true deliverance- the continual yes. Will you live in that yes today and all of your days?

THE Love Relationship

I fell in love- hard. I fell in love with Jesus in a dramatic and robust way. I fell in love and I had a willingness to leave everything I knew and everything I was behind. I fell in love and my life ended. I fell in love and my life began. I fell in love and my reality changed. Everything I thought was one way turned out to be completely different. I fell in love and I changed. It was love. Love changed me. It changed the core of my being. It changed everything I knew, because love has the power to change. Love has the power to transform things eternally.

As I continued to enjoy this life-changing love relationship, some things happened that were very unexpected. I had expectations that were not met the way I thought they should've been met. When I started my masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, this topic was often discussed: What are the expectations that couples have when they are newly married? What are the expectations two people place on each other over time? Initially, the relationship begins without any expectations. All there is, is an utmost devotion to that love- to the significant other. There is an undying dedication and faithfulness. There is an abandonment to self that occurs. The sentiment is "I don't care where I am as long as I am with you" and "I care about you more than I care about me". It would seem as if at the beginning of any love relationship, genuine death to self actually happens.

However, the unrealistic expectations come. The "I have loved you and have given you so much, I expect ________ from you". We expect the other person to be our source of joy and fulfillment. We have childhood wounds; we have love, affection and attention we never received from other people. This person we have dedicated our lives to automatically becomes the person that needs to meet all of these needs. But the relationship was never based on that in the first place.

I didn't begin a relationship with Jesus because of what He could give me. I fell in love with Jesus because He is beautiful. I fell in love with Him because there is no one and there is nothing more amazing or more utterly irresistible than Him. I had no expectations. The interesting thing about love relationships is that in the process of loving unconditionally, we do meet a need. And so, when I love Jesus with this undying devotion, this intimate relationship meets my needs by default. Desiring an irresistible God makes it irresistible for Him to not meet my needs.

But how do you stay in love? How do you stay devoted? You do it by staying focused. You do it by allowing Him to lead you anytime and anywhere. He is really good at reminding us why we entered relationship in the first place. The times we spend adoring Him and beholding Him transform us. We tend to think that for certain things to break we need to go into intense prayer and intercession. We think that we need to fast. We think that our actions- what we did or did not do, have the power to change circumstances and break strongholds. Deep down, we think that freedom and deliverance will come from our own actions.

But may I propose to you, Beloved, that things break by responding to the invitation of a King who is consumed with love for us? His love is so great- and so powerful - and so strong, it can break anything and anyone.

This week, consider why you entered relationship with Jesus. Consider what makes you love Him. Did any unmet expectations draw you away from your First Love? Let your Lover take you on a love journey. Go ahead. Turn off the computer. Turn off your cell phone. Play worship. Soak. Be in nature or in your prayer closet. Go away with your Beloved. And then, if you can- when you can- tell me what He did ❤

1 The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's.

The Bride Confesses Her Love

She

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine;
3     your anointing oils are fragrant;
your name is oil poured out;
    therefore virgins love you.
4 Draw me after you; let us run.
    The king has brought me into his chambers. Song of Songs 1: 1-4

Una Shifts Into The New Beginning

It is September 1st. I am writing for the first time in months. I have changed. Tremendously. I have changed so much I can hardly recognize who the woman in the mirror is. The scariest thing of it all is that I also do not recognize who it is that I am becoming. I am becoming something and someone entirely new to everything I have known and thought I knew.

My perspective is incredibly different than it used to be. My writing has changed tremendously. I have desires in my heart now I used to not have months ago.

I deal with conflict and situations in completely different ways I used to.

Am I flawed? Terribly. Every day the Lord shows me more of my flaws and areas of brokenness. But every day He also shows me more of His love and His grace.

Just now, I struggled for about an hour and a half avoiding the time I would write this; distracting myself. Until I finally decided to wake up from my haze and write.

I decided to write. I decided to write because it is not just one the ways I get delivered. I decided to write because it also one of the ways I am called to bring others to deliverance.

We have been doing so good at being honest; at accepting our weaknesses. We have done well at being honest with ourselves, God and others. But we haven't done so well at walking it out.

Yet this season is about walking it out. This season is about walking out prophetically what the Lord is calling us into. This season is about relying on the strength of the Lord and not on our own strength. This season is about leaving the habits and defaults of the past behind and throwing ourselves completely into the unknown freedom available for us.

We will walk into freedom together and we will walk into freedom prophetically. We will talk about spiritual warfare. We will talk about deliverance. We will talk about the battle between the flesh and the Spirit. We will go higher together.

We have to go higher together. There is too much at stake . We are in a war; and the Spirit of the Overcomer lives in us. We can no longer mope. We can no longer be passive. We have to rise up. And we will rise up.

Will you rise up with me?

Things to think about: 
What are some changes the Lord is calling me into this season? 
What has held me back from venturing completely into them?
How do you walk this out?

Things to pray:
God of breakthrough, I make myself fully available to be broken and rebuilt by You. I give you full access into shifting my perspective and taking me into all that I was designed to step into. Here I am. Take me. Break me. Heal me. Transform me. I am yours. Since forever and for forever. In the strong name of Jesus, to the glory of the Father and by the power of Holy Spirit. Amen.

The Heart Of God

I didn't know when I was going to return to writing on this blog. I knew that I needed new insight and revelation. I knew that I needed something fresh from the Lord.  I spoke to Him and He said to write what is on His heart. This is it.

As an intercessor, I experience the heart of God on a daily basis. Whenever I  am praying for someone I feel God's love over them. It is overwhelming. So much so, it makes some people think I am just being extra. But it is the fierceness of the heart of God that prompts me to love people in the way that I do.

So, what is in the heart of God during this season?

The heart of God is with the lost. 

It is impossible for me to walk the streets in light of the recent events in our nation and not weep for the people. There are so many needs. There is much anguish and pain. There is much uncertainty. I cannot have a blind eye to the needs of the people, especially during this time.

This is a time that cannot be wasted in personal agendas and opinions. Everyone has an opinion. But not everyone has an answer to the needs of the people. I wish we could just be brave enough to go and reach the lost the way that Jesus did. I wish we could simply say: Here are my hands. Here are my feet. What do you need?

But I want you to think about these questions:

What made us so insensitive to the needs of those around us?

What made us attempt to protect ourselves and our hearts when our protector is our Lord?

What made us think it is acceptable to not die to our own selfish desires?

What made us be okay with living just caring for ourselves, feeding our own mouths when we see people growing hungry in the streets?

Why do we seek God for our own selves and our own ministries?

Living life in the kingdom is costly. It is the ultimate self-sacrifice, and it is all done because of love and through love. 

If we were living the way that Jesus lived his life, we wouldn't be so worried about our lives, because Jesus wasn't. We wouldn't separate ourselves from the outcasts and afflicted because Jesus didn't. We wouldn't be promoting our names because Jesus concealed His own glory. We would have constant communication with the Father. We would sacrifice hourly. We would love the people, genuinely, so much so we'd spend a lot of time together. We would be quieter instead of louder. We would pray in schedule and out of schedule.

If we were living our lives the way that Jesus lived His, we would be powerful and effective in our assignments, not boastful or angry at those who reject us.

Take a moment to hear what is in the heart of God during this season. His heart is not for the boastful and prideful. His heart is for the loss, the sick and the afflicted, because after all, you also were once lost, sick and afflicted too.

It was in the heart of God to reach you. Someone heard that. Are you going to hear too?

When God Calls You To Do Something That's Never Been Done Before

What do you do when God calls you to do something that's never been done before? You look around and no one understands you. No one "gets" it. In fact, you just look crazy to a lot of people. You're different wherever you are. You are also rejected a lot. You start thinking: "Is there something wrong with me?" Then you realize this is exactly who you need to be. You begin to understand that those things about you some people don't like, are also the things that ended up saving someone's life. So, what do you with that? How do you walk that walk? I'm learning that myself. But I'm going to share some of the things I am still learning. Perhaps they can help you on your own journey.

You will be told many things about who you are. I've been told a lot of things. People usually tell me I'm too passionate, too raw, too intense. They tell me I care too much or that I'm too emotional. I am what many people call "extra". I have also been told that I am antisocial, or I have been told that I am too bubbly. No matter what people say, I am always labeled and I'm never "enough". Needless to say, I'm not pleasing anybody. But there's something I have noticed. I am usually perceived as "too caring" by people who don't really care. I'm "too emotional" for those who like to bottle up their feelings. I am all of those things people are resisting to be. I tend to remind people of the things God is calling them into. I poke into the sensitive areas of resistance. So you see, you can't be swayed by people's opinions of you. They will always have an opinion, and 9 out of 10 times it will be the wrong opinion. What you need to care about is God's opinion of you.

I tend to give a lot of value to who people are and what they carry. That's one of the things I do for people that they don't often do for me. So, as I give value to people and what they carry, I learn many many things from many different people. I take the good and spew out the bad. I'm not too proud to learn from a child. There are things a child can teach me an adult could never teach me.

So, what do I do with myself?

I have to go on this journey alone. There's no other way. I have to go onward with God. I need to let Him teach me what no one else can teach me. I have spent my entire life trying to find my "crew". There's no crew. The only crew there is, is God and I, because I still don't know who I am, and I will be discovering who He is for eternity.

So, I took a look at myself and thought: I am still learning and am I going to be sad about people not knowing who I am? It is not their responsibility to show me and teach me who I am. God teaches me that in the intimate place. At my previous school, we used to talk a lot about belonging. Yes, it is important to feel like you belong. It is important to have a safe community where you are welcomed no matter what. But you must first understand you belong with Christ. Until you understand you belong with Christ first, you will never understand belonging in the context of a community.

I spent too much time focusing on relationships- and that's part of my call. But I had to build up endurance to depend solely on the One relationship that will carry me through it all. Everything that I am and everything that I will do is in Jesus. He is the only one who knows who I am and sees me from the future. He calls me into the future me. All of these ideas I have about what I desire in my life; about prayer. about community, about teaching etc. It was all His idea. I give myself too much credit. I take too much control of my day-to-day life. I cheat myself out of my own destiny. Why do I do that? Because I don't know who I am.

So, if you're called to do something that's never been done before, if you're called to be someone who stands out in their difference and are catalytic, you are going to have to do a few things:

1. Depend on God alone. If you're going to be consistent with something, be consistent with your relationship with God. Learn about the spiritual disciplines and practice them always. You will build an easy flow in your relationship with God.

2. Build up endurance to stay the same whether people praise you or reject you. Trust me, those can flip at any moment. You don't want to be affected by that. Let your testimony be from the Father, not from people "How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?" John 5:44.

3. Be confident in who you are. If God says this is who you are, walk it. Believe it. You don't need more confirmation. When you hesitate, you do so because you have allowed the enemy to question God's call on your life. "Did God really say.....?" (Genesis 3:1)

4. Identify the people who carry your same DNA. Run with those people. You don't have to be the same or necessarily care about all of the same things. You're called to be different, so you won' find sameness. But run with people who value at least one everlasting thing you value. For example, run with people who value prayer, worship, service or whatever is the area you are called to value.

5. Pour into the people who want what you have. Don't waste your time with people. Some talk and seem like they want it but are not willing to put in the time or sacrifice. People who want it don't care what they have to do to get it. Love people. But don't waste your time babying people.

6. You will have many trials. When you do, make sure you cling to Jesus and nothing else. Rejoice in your trials. They are your training. God is building up faith and endurance in you.

7. Give yourself the value God gives you. Have you read the book of Ephesians? You are pretty awesome. If God said what He said about you, don't undermine His words. Don't give yourself any less value than the value God gives you.

8. Don't have an opinion of yourself that is higher than the opinion God has of you. He is still God and Lord. He is still on the throne. He will humble you immediately because everything you have He gave to you (James 1:17). Don't take glory for yourself.

9. Choose to sacrifice and die for what you're called to do, but only if you are giving the glory to God. If you catch yourself doing anything for you or for people, stop and regress.

10. Do it all because of love. All of it. If you do it for any reason, you are wasting your time.

11. Learn to grieve and repent. Grieve and repent. Repeat. You can't grow if you don't know how to grieve or repent.

12. Honor others' journeys. But don't try to get other people to do what God has called you to do. There's a reason He gave YOU the vision and insight.

13. Make sure you have people pouring into your life, but most importantly, make sure you have friends who stick with you no matter what. You need a Peter, John and James. You need the 12 and you need the 72. The crowds will come and go.

I hope these things help you in your journey. If you want to know more about my journey, check you my latest YouTube video and my latest Odyssey article.