I spent the week with many fears, many reservations, many intimidations. I spent the week without knowing what I was doing- doubting myself. I was doubting the call of God on my life. I spent the
week in mourning. I spent the week grieving. I spent the week not knowing what or where or when. I spent the week and I avoided relying on Him completely. I was tired. I didn't have enough sleep. Everything was happening so fast. I didn't get a chance to breathe. I didn't get a chance to figure out what was happening. How did things change up on me so quickly? How do I reroute and redirect now? I was unsure and frustrated. I didn't know where I was going.
And then Wednesday night came, and there it was- smacking me in the face. It was the truth. The truth that I wasn't submitting to the Lordship of the Spirit of the Living God. The truth that I wasn't trusting Him completely. The truth that I had built an idol in my mind and in my emotions. The truth that I wasn't completely dependent on Him- that I was letting my emotions rule and my old default mechanisms have their way. This was the truth. And the truth hurt. The truth was uncomfortable. And receiving this truth made me think that if I let it have its full work in me, I am never going to stop crying. I was faced with the truth, and then a lie wanted to keep me from it.
I'm getting delivered from the old Anel. Most of the times I don't even realize that it is the old Anel. Most of the times I think it is perhaps a personality thing. I think it is something that it's exclusive to my journey. Most of the time I don't let myself be completely healed because that is "just the way I think" or "Just the way I feel".
But I'm getting free right now.
On Monday night, so many emotions were ruling. I have been in this walk long enough to know that when it comes to deliverance, rebuking things doesn't really work. Accepting and rejecting gets the job done. So I rejected my own emotions. I rejected my own thoughts. And then, I accepted the still small voice of Holy Spirit, and the full revelation from heaven. At that moment, I saw this huge wave coming and washing everything away. The wave of the Lord came and made me anew. And then the new Anel showed up, and I couldn't remember why I had been so upset. I couldn't remember why my emotions were taking such a strong residence in my decisions. I couldn't access the old Anel, and I didn't want to.
The challenge then becomes living in the continual wave. Letting God lead you and become your only security is a sure scary thing to do. It is, however, the most amazing thing we'll ever do in our entire lives. I have nothing of my own. But I can do everything through Him and I can do anything in Him.
See, the old Anel only had herself. But the new Anel has Christ in her, the Hope of Glory. He is her hope. He is her shield. He is her security. In fact, she is not secure unless she is secure in Him. So now is the time to welcome Holy Spirit's full work:
I welcome the wave of the Lord. I let it wash away everything that is not ruled by the Spirit of the Living God. Everything that is not love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. I welcome everything that is You, God. I welcome the breaker anointing. Break through everything in my life and lead me in your breakthrough to others. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
I believe the Lord is teaching us how to be established in our breakthrough in this season. It is not enough with praying and getting a revelation. We must now learn to live out of that revelation. It's like packing our bags immediately and deciding somewhere else will be our home. But He cannot give us all of the revelation at once. We now need to learn to live from revelation to revelation and from glory to glory. Sometimes He will lead us with a cloud by day. Sometimes He will lead us with a fire by night. Sometimes we will go behind the veil and dwell with the Holy of holies. Sometimes we will encounter Him in the mountain and He will give us instructions. Sometimes a burning bush will appear and we will stop running away. However God chooses to reveal Himself and lead us, our position is always to follow and to say yes. This is true deliverance- the continual yes. Will you live in that yes today and all of your days?
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