THE Love Relationship

I fell in love- hard. I fell in love with Jesus in a dramatic and robust way. I fell in love and I had a willingness to leave everything I knew and everything I was behind. I fell in love and my life ended. I fell in love and my life began. I fell in love and my reality changed. Everything I thought was one way turned out to be completely different. I fell in love and I changed. It was love. Love changed me. It changed the core of my being. It changed everything I knew, because love has the power to change. Love has the power to transform things eternally.

As I continued to enjoy this life-changing love relationship, some things happened that were very unexpected. I had expectations that were not met the way I thought they should've been met. When I started my masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, this topic was often discussed: What are the expectations that couples have when they are newly married? What are the expectations two people place on each other over time? Initially, the relationship begins without any expectations. All there is, is an utmost devotion to that love- to the significant other. There is an undying dedication and faithfulness. There is an abandonment to self that occurs. The sentiment is "I don't care where I am as long as I am with you" and "I care about you more than I care about me". It would seem as if at the beginning of any love relationship, genuine death to self actually happens.

However, the unrealistic expectations come. The "I have loved you and have given you so much, I expect ________ from you". We expect the other person to be our source of joy and fulfillment. We have childhood wounds; we have love, affection and attention we never received from other people. This person we have dedicated our lives to automatically becomes the person that needs to meet all of these needs. But the relationship was never based on that in the first place.

I didn't begin a relationship with Jesus because of what He could give me. I fell in love with Jesus because He is beautiful. I fell in love with Him because there is no one and there is nothing more amazing or more utterly irresistible than Him. I had no expectations. The interesting thing about love relationships is that in the process of loving unconditionally, we do meet a need. And so, when I love Jesus with this undying devotion, this intimate relationship meets my needs by default. Desiring an irresistible God makes it irresistible for Him to not meet my needs.

But how do you stay in love? How do you stay devoted? You do it by staying focused. You do it by allowing Him to lead you anytime and anywhere. He is really good at reminding us why we entered relationship in the first place. The times we spend adoring Him and beholding Him transform us. We tend to think that for certain things to break we need to go into intense prayer and intercession. We think that we need to fast. We think that our actions- what we did or did not do, have the power to change circumstances and break strongholds. Deep down, we think that freedom and deliverance will come from our own actions.

But may I propose to you, Beloved, that things break by responding to the invitation of a King who is consumed with love for us? His love is so great- and so powerful - and so strong, it can break anything and anyone.

This week, consider why you entered relationship with Jesus. Consider what makes you love Him. Did any unmet expectations draw you away from your First Love? Let your Lover take you on a love journey. Go ahead. Turn off the computer. Turn off your cell phone. Play worship. Soak. Be in nature or in your prayer closet. Go away with your Beloved. And then, if you can- when you can- tell me what He did ❤

1 The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's.

The Bride Confesses Her Love

She

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine;
3     your anointing oils are fragrant;
your name is oil poured out;
    therefore virgins love you.
4 Draw me after you; let us run.
    The king has brought me into his chambers. Song of Songs 1: 1-4