I Am Not Willing To Die Like Jesus

There are many things I love about the Church (The universal body of believers). I am a part of it. 

But there are also many things I don't like. The one thing that is most important to me in terms of the Church is unity. Ever since I gave my life to Christ, I have longed to see a Church united. I have always thought that this one aspect should be the easier to accomplish since we all believe in the same God and have the same Holy Spirit living in the inside of us. 

The problem is that we are also very different. This is because we are supposed to work together and what one person has, the other doesn't and viceversa. 

Lately there has been a lot of complaining in my heart. I complain to the Lord a lot about the Church. But He centers me right back when He reminds me of how much He loves the Church and how He died for her. He reveals to me how unChrist-like I'm being. He prompts me to love in the midst of problems.

But there is more. The things that I love and desire are also in the heart of God. He wants to see us truly working together and loving one another. It didn't occur to me until very recently that if I am to see any of that, I need to start doing my part even when I don't see anyone else doing it.

That means that there is more required of me. And this is truly when it is revealed how unChrist-like I am. 

I am not willing to die.

Why would I die for a Church that doesn't understand me? Because Christ did.

Why would I die for a Church that doesn't want to watch and pray with me? Because Christ did.

Any question that I would ask in terms of dying to myself for the sake of unity in the Church is answered in that Christ already did it. I have no right to complain or to be angry because I am not loving the way that Christ did. 

I have to die.

I have to die to my pride. I have to surrender my right to be right. I have to confess that underneath it all, I just want to be comfortable. But I have to be who He has called me to be.

The truth is that we all like to pray big prayers and ask for big things. We like to say: "Have your way Lord". But truthfully, we don't want Him to have His way. His way is a lot more uncomfortable than we expected it to be. We like to pray for unity but we're not willing to die for unity- at least I am not. 

I don't know about you, but it's very hard for me to sacrifice and love people who hurt me. However, this is when I find out out I don't really want it. If I truly wanted it, I would die. I would sacrifice. 

So here's the choice: When Christ calls you to be more like Him, to die like Him, to sacrifice like Him, will you answer the call? I am learning to do it. There is no other way but to become more like Him. I have already given so much, why not go all the way?

I have to have Him. I have to count it all as garbage; all of my pride and wants. I have to because I love Him, and I made a commitment to Him. He is not just my Savior. He is my Lord. He is also my Father. He is also the Lover of my soul. Outside of Him there is nothing. So, I am answering a higher call to die and sacrifice. Will you?