Because I am no longer the woman in this picture- not at all
If you are a close friend of mine you know to be true that for the past 2 months I have encountered a rise in my faith. I have enjoyed a deeper level of relationship with Jesus Christ. I have dedicated my time to encourage those around me to rise up in their faith as well. The love and manifest presence of Jesus I've experienced is like never before. It is evident that the Lord has done something powerful in me; something that only He can do.
But as I have been reflecting in amazement at the goodness of God, I have also encountered battles with my flesh and my soul. This is my confession about the parts of myself that still need to die. The following are the parts that haven't yet caught up to what the Lord has done in my spirit.
I'm letting anxiety rule my life
I have been so busy. The projects the Lord has placed on my life are incredible. But even though I walk in the peace of God for the most part, I still let anxiety rule me. When this happens I am very aware that I need to release it and give it to the Lord. And I don't! What is wrong with me? It's like I'm saying: Thanks Jesus, but no thanks. Why would I choose my ways above His? At the end of the project, when I meet the deadline, I realize it was not that serious. I let myself be worked up for nothing. I need to let Holy Spirit lead me and fill me in every endeavor. I need to kick anxiety out! Not only is anxiety my enemy, but it also reveals my lack of trust in Christ with every area of my life.
I'm not getting up in the morning because "I'm tired"
I have a difficult living situation and I'm using that as an excuse to not spend quality alone time with Jesus. If you are like me, you cry when you pray. You have to travail before the King. I actually need to weep before Him. I miss Him when I am not in deep connection with Him. When I am alone with Him, I get to be in heaven and experience His manifest glory. There is nothing like it. But even though I know I need that, I STILL don't get up! I use so many excuses- good ones even. But you know what lets me know they're just excuses? Because if I needed to minister to someone at that time, I would get up and do it. So why don't I get up for the King of kings??! Something in my heart needs to die.
I'm prioritizing ministry above my relationship with God
It has been so amazing to walk in my authority and calling. I cherish every encounter, conversation and prophetic word. I also cherish the quality and depth of the relationships God has given me. But I stand God up on our dates to go minister to someone I know is in need. The worse thing is that after I've ministered to them, I don't prioritize making up that time. I feel the Holy Spirit for that ministerial encounter and I think it's enough. It's NEVER enough! I need Jesus so much. I need Him all the time. I crave sabbathing with Him always. There will always be people in need on this side of heaven. But my engagement to Him is forever. He comes first.
I'm letting my mind contemplate my old relationship and life
I am not who I used to be. I am a new creation in Jesus. But I still find myself thinking about my old relationship. I'm letting the same patterns of thinking rule me and my emotions take over. One minute I could be completely happy and content with my life. The next minute I am incredibly sad and I want to call my ex and tell him. The interesting thing is that my spirit recognizes the falsehood of it all. Even when I get "sad" I'm not really sad. I am fully aware that if I let my Spirit-filled spirit take over, I will be my true self again. This happens when I get anxious as well. This is because I am no longer an anxious person, or a sad person, or a hopeless person. I am a new person. I am filled with joy, love, peace, etc. In fact! I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.
So what is the answer?
"But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:20-25
I am putting it off..... goodbye old Anel! All of my deceitful desires have NO place in my life. As soon as they try to come my way, they will be shut down. Anxiety is not allowed in my mind and heart. Neither is discouragement. Why are they not welcomed? Because they're not who I am.
I'm being renewed in the spirit of my mind... hello new Anel! The Word of God says that my new self is created in the likeness of God. Wow! That is whole new level of righteousness, holiness, confidence and authority. It is also a new level of faith, peace and joy. This is who I am.
I am putting the things in my life that don't belong to death. How about you?
No comments:
Post a Comment