The Truth Lie

When I was in 7th grade, I was in a class with 53 students. The classrooms were very large. The teachers would come to our classroom every time there was a change of period. There was a particular subject called Civics that used to be taught on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I remember the day was a Thursday.

In the middle of changing periods, I stood up and went up to the chalkboard. I began to draw a heart with the chalk. Then I remember feeling a punch hit my back. I turned around and there were 4 students standing behind me. They all responded with a hostile: "What?! Are you trying to say one of us hit you?". I decided to turn back around to the chalkboard, forget it happened and mind my own business. I had been bullied heavily in that school before when I was in 6th grade. I didn't want any trouble to start up again, so I thought that whoever hit me would probably not do it again. When I turned back around to continue to draw hearts, I felt another hand hit me on my right arm. When I turned around, the same thing happened and they reacted hostile. But as I turned, someone else pushed me on my back. When I turned again to see, someone else had hit me on my back again on the other side. More students were added each time, making it difficult to discern what was happening. I was in the middle of being hit by 20 students who yelled and screamed in the middle of changing periods.

When the teacher arrived, she was told that I was hitting students and that I said that I couldn't get in trouble because my aunt was the school's vice principal. I didn't even know they knew my dad was related to the school's vice principal. But once again, this was told to my parents.

I drowned in the lies of many around me. I suffered physical, emotional and mental abuse. To this day, I still wonder sometimes if I actually did say any of those things. I wonder if I was responsible in any way for these things to happen. And I have played this narrative with many other things in my life. I blamed myself for the things that others did to me. I blamed myself for demonic situations the enemy clearly orchestrated around me. And this was his tactic. His strategy was to make me think that I was responsible for things that happened that should have never happened.

Is my truth a lie? No. It's not. It happened. It was real.

Sometimes people do evil things. But God's truth is always there to shield us, to speak to us, to comfort. We are who our Heavenly Father says we are. We are heard and our voice matters. I don't have to make myself loud. I just have to agree with the truth that is spoken over me and the Truth that lives inside of me.

Can you find yourself in this anecdote? What is the truth your Heavenly Father is speaking over you today?

"and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

The Deception Lies

Have you ever been deceived? Ever believed something was true that was actually a complete lie?

Yep, it's happened to me.

When I was around 7 years old, my aunt sent me to the store by myself. This was uncommon, so I felt incredibly proud about it. I was purchasing a 2 liter soda. She gave me 100 pesos and I held unto them for dear life. I had an empty deposit bottle in one hand and the 100 pesos bill on the other hand. What I didn't know was that you were never supposed to let people see you with money in your hands. I did. I held unto one end of those 100 pesos and let the other end of the bill swing as I walked toward the store.

Someone saw me.

He said: "Hey! Say hello to your uncle!" I said: "Huh?" He said: "I'm your uncle. You don't remember me? I know your mom and dad". I said: "Ohhh, okay". Then he said: "I actually bought you a Barbie doll. It's right there." I said: "Where?" He pointed to a house where there was some construction being done. He then said: "Go, and tell them to give you your Barbie doll. I'll hold on to this while you go."

I was clueless. I agreed. I gave him the money and walked over. The construction men had no clue what I was talking about. I was so confused. I turned to tell my "uncle". But he was gone. I was confused all the more.

When I returned home, I told the story to my aunt. She told me I got robbed. But how could this be? It wasn't even on my radar! I didn't believe I got robbed until I thought about everything that had happened for a good long while.

As I reflect on this story, I can't help but think about the things we think are true that are actually not. I have been deceived so many times by the enemy. He's made me think untrue things I have believed to the degree that there seemed to not be another reality.

Have you ever thought about what you call "Reality"? Is it true that your life will always be this way? What about the people in your life? Is what you believe about them really true? The enemy is always looking after the gold in us just as the thief was looking after my 100 pesos. He speaks a lie to us and then all he needs is to create a distraction to then rob us.

Do not get distracted.

This is the season to cash in what is rightfully ours. Do not be deceived. Listen to the voice that speaks to you and make sure it is the Spirit of truth. I was alone when this happened to me. But we are never alone. Ask your Papa questions. Make sure you access your communication with your Helper and Counselor at all times. You're going to need it.

You're about to win so much more you ever imagined you could have at a time.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

The Rejection Lie

 

Today, I want to tell you a story about rejection. 

When I was in 6th and 7th grade, I experienced the worst bullying experience. I was called all sorts of names and was beaten. My parents were called and told I was fighting in school. So my mother would beat me up again when I got home and my father would humiliate me at the dinner table.

I wanted to disappear.

I felt so rejected I tried to turn everywhere for attention and affection. I thought I would get my attention and affection from friends. But I was often rejected and replaced by my close friends too. My friend Claribel would visit my house with two other friends for the purpose of making fun of the way I lived. My friend Gisselle replaced me for another friend and was busy chasing after boys. And then I decided to make friends with two girls I didn’t have much in common with.

One day, those two friends decided to have a conversation with me. Their names were Walkiria and Bety. They had to speak to me about something. First, they told me they wanted to be honest with me. They asked me if I brushed my teeth. I said yes. Then they said I had bad breath. I took it well, but I never forgot it. I said I would make sure I brushed my teeth really well moving forward.

About a week later, they decided to have another conversation with me. This time, they told me they didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. They wanted it to be just them. I couldn’t believe I was being rejected again.

A few days after that happened, I was walking toward the lunch room hungry, not expecting to eat. Walkiria was right next to me. I then saw 10 dominican pesos on the ground. I stopped walking and stopped Walkiria. I said: “Look!” She said: “Wow” and then she quickly picked up the 10 pesos. I reached to grab it from her and she said the 10 pesos were hers and that she would be willing to share 2 or 3 pesos out of her 10. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe this was happening. And then I realized I didn’t really want to be friends with someone like that anyways.

I spent most of my childhood by myself. I spent my time fantasizing about how things could be. My fantasies became better than my realities. I was very smart but I wasn’t a great student. I preferred to tune out of anything and everything that wasn’t pleasant. Soon, this became my default mechanism. I learned to live in my head trying to prove myself to those around me when I was interacting with them.

The lie that I wasn’t good enough, that nobody liked me, that there was something deeply wrong with me was embedded within me. Those years were the defining factors for all my self-esteem and self-worth. I believed that I was better for what I could do for people than for who I was. I didn’t believe there was importance to my personhood. To this day, I brush my teeth thoroughly twice in the morning and I pop cough drops all day.

It takes a lot for someone to just be themselves. It takes a lot because the enemy makes sure he orchestrates lies right at the moment of conception. If he can’t cause a physical abortion, he will try to abort the plans of God for our lives in our emotions and identity. It took until December 29th, 2018 for me to be pleased with who I am and not what I do. It’s been a long journey but nothing changed until I began to agree with the truth that God said about me.

God made me amazing. And I believe it. Every bit of it. I believe it whether others agree with me or not. I believe it whether I fail or succeed at something. I am incredible. And this is a reflection of how talented my Maker is.

I am attaching to this post a final presentation I did in the Spring of 2014. It was Nyack College’s Rite of Passage named Woman. My presentation has a lot to do with my journey and stepping into Identity and Womanhood.

Today, you can make the deliberate choice to go into your past and let God unveil the lies you believed. You make this choice not for the purpose of throwing a pity party for yourself. You do this so that God can heal you, so that God can speak truth into your life and so that you can come into agreement with this truth.

Choose to let God deeply heal you today. Choose to be who you really are; all of who you are.

 

Your hands have made and fashioned me;
    give me understanding that I may learn your commandments. Psalm 119:73 ESV

 

Here is my presentation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHsYU0NIRq4

The Comparison Lie

 

When I was 3 years old, I was the prettiest loveliest most adored little girl. I was convinced of it. I remember the compliments. I remember the birthday gifts. I remember people’s attention on me. I was loved and cherished. All of these things were true about myself. But they didn’t seem to ring so true as time went by.

I found out I had an older sister. She was beautiful. She was also good at everything she did. I wanted to be like her but it didn’t seem as if she wanted any type of relationship with me. And then the comments began… You know, the comparison comments. “Why can’t she be more like her… Why can’t she do what she does?” And this is where all insecurity begins: at the root of comparison.

I began to question myself, and one lie led to another. “I’m not that pretty. I’m not that astute. I’m not that loved, liked or enjoyed” As a child, I was particularly insecure about my lips. I was made fun of at school and the comments at home just made it worse. I began to think that perhaps in the future I could get surgery. But for the time being, I will try to hide my lips as much as possible. Sometimes my siblings would even say that my lips were getting smaller.

Isn’t it crazy how little lies prompt us to hide the most beautiful parts of ourselves?

When I was a teenager, I realized my lips were actually really beautiful. I began to embrace that part of myself and see it in a completely different light. But that wasn’t until I embraced the truth. There has not been one lie I have ever believed that hasn’t fallen off because of the overwhelming power of a truth. This is not a mind exercise or a simple reminder: this is a work of the heart.

The lies I believed did not just enter my mind, they entered my heart as well. They bruised me. They hit my self-esteem. For that lie to be fully eradicated, I did not just have to come out of agreement with it and renounce it: I had to let the truth have its full work in me. I had to let it penetrate my heart and lift me up.

This is true not just of lies pertaining our bodies and self-image. This is true about every single lie we have ever believed about ourselves, about God, about people and the world we live in.

What lies have you believed that need the full work of Truth in your heart today?

"And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free" John 8:32 ESV 

The Puberty Lie

 

I was 10 years old and I was concerned about my body. I remember right before the new school year, I began to worry if my body was going to “blossom” like I saw many of my friends’ bodies blossom during the summer time. It hadn’t happen to me and I started to get concerned.

I couldn’t understand for the life of me why there was no apparent growth on my chest. Later on, I found out my friends began to get their periods. That was why they were suddenly developing but, nothing for me.

I remember one of my “developed” friends talking about someone she liked and how they were so in love. I began to think I needed someone to like too. After all, I just really wanted to be like one of the girls. So, I began to like this boy at school. It seemed as if he liked me too but I noticed he liked touching my buttocks. I thought that perhaps this was normal behavior until I overheard my mother say that I should never allow anyone to touch my body.

So, the next day I went to school determined to tell this boy he could no longer do that. He got upset. He then tried to corner me in one of the classrooms and began to demand that I kiss him. I said no. Within three days, he began to like another girl, probably the most “developed” girl in the entire school. I didn’t know it then. It seemed so innocent, such a normal occurrence for kids to experience during puberty. But a little lie crept in that early. And the lie was that my value when it comes to men was directly linked to my body. If a man cannot touch my body, I have no value to him.

This occurrence, amongst many others, resulted in very serious consequences in my identity as a woman. I made some very poor decisions I will tell you about on another occasion. But, I tell you this little anecdote because I want you to think about your life.

What are some events that marked you? I became the sum total of every little occurrence and event that ever happened in my life. Our identities are tied to our experiences. Did you, too, believe a lie when you were very young like I did? What is God saying about this lie?

This is what my Papa says about mine:
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
Your value exceeds far beyond rubies. Proverbs 31:10
Your body is beautiful and perfect. I made it.


What is God saying to you?

The Great Love Fest

The last few weeks have been incredibly busy. I am sitting here trying to figure out how to write and publish a blog post in 30 minutes or less.

I have so much on my heart. The week of Awaken The Dawn was beyond what I could probably express in words. We were there-thousands of us representing every state. We rendered worship and prayer to our King together. That is the word: Together. It felt like we were more together than we had ever been.

It was like a big Jesus love fest; a huge family reunion. There are no words to describe how much of a connection Spirit-filled spirits can make without the use of many words. We would greet each other like long lost friends who are simply happy to see one another once again. We held each other’s hands, we prayed, we cried and we embraced pouring it all out, not knowing when it was the next time we’d lay eyes on one another.

Our worship times were filled with intense angelic activity. There is no doubt there was a rumbling in the spirit realm. Things were shaking. Things were moving. It was beyond shackles falling. It was the sound of entire empires crumbling. The Kingdom of Heaven was here, and no empire can withstand a united royal priesthood. At Awaken The Dawn, The Church became unshakable.

So many of us worshipping and praying to our Living God. So many of us loving one another and encouraging one another. I had many moments when my heart was so filled with literal bliss. I kept telling myself: "This is the way the true Church really is. This is the way heaven is gonna be like.” For a few days, we were a reflection of heaven. We saw in each others' eyes the way Jesus sees us, and then love happened.

I have no doubt that something incredible was conceived this weekend. It was like we went back to the beginning. We made it all about Him and about each other. We were whole the way we were always meant to be whole.

I was prayed for at least 10 times each day at ATD. Every word was an accurate and on-time word. Every hug, every look, every touch I received from every mother, every father, every brother, meant so very much to me. Awaken The Dawn was in many ways the gathering I had been searching for all of my life. It was my family. It was the family I knew I had somewhere. It was the bigest reunion.

And then just as my heart was filled with so much bliss, I would struggle thinking about the end. Why does it have to end? Can we not keep it going? My heart yearns for heaven with all passion. I yearn for heaven constantly. I seek it with all of me. I seek my Daddy and I seek my family. I need to be in communion with Him and her.

But then one of my sisters said to me: "But now we get to bring it back to wherever we’re going" And I said: “Oh... yeah, that's right.” It's always about the next. It's always about the lost. It's always about the one who hasn't heard the Good News. It's always about the one who hasn't partaken of the goodness of God, of His love, of His mercy. And I guess that's why we're all still here.

I forgot for a moment that this was not the end; that there are still many who have not heard and need to hear. That's why we're all here. That's why it's not time for any of us to go yet.

Awaken The Dawn was like heaven on earth. But what if the whole world was like heaven on earth? Can we do it? Can we possibly bring heaven wherever we go? I'm confident we can. Let's do it: Together 💛

Is The Gospel Powerful Enough To Unite Us?

Two weeks ago I was given a prophetic word about taking communion for an extended amount of days. At first, I thought it was an unnecessary act of faith. I couldn't understand the purpose of taking it so often. Jesus said we are to do it in remembrance of Him. But if I remember today, do I really have to remember tomorrow?

One of the reasons I didn't want to take it so much is because of the powerful significance of communion and my fear of letting it become ordinary. Communion has always been an incredibly emotional and powerful experience for me. Every time I take communion I can feel how crushed His body was for me and I can feel the holiness of His blood going down and cleaning me whole. I feel and experience all of the intensity of His sacrifice for me. But more than anything I also feel and experience all of the redemption that comes from His sacrifice.

I have been taking communion every day, several times in the day as I am led. I take communion every time I am sad and cannot shake off the sadness. I take communion when I am concerned and cannot shake off the worry. I take communion when there is something that I cannot do on my own. And after I take it, Christ deals with whatever I am dealing with immediately. It is incredible. I take all of my burdens to Jesus and He makes me whole. He makes my body, my mind and my heart well. And He proves over and over again that He is the only one who can make me whole.

There is so much that we want to do on our own. It is so difficult for us to really truly accept that it has been done and that He has really done it. Yes, God has really done it. Yes, we already have the victory in Him because He was made victorious for us. Yes, we are winning. But the question is: if we are victorious in Him, then why do we act as if we were defeated all the time? Why do we fight as if we we haven't been given powerful victorious weapons?

The sacrifice of Jesus is incredibly powerful. Incredibly powerful. And the more we try to do on our own and the more we try to complement the gospel, the more ineffective we are amongst ourselves and for the world.

The gospel does not need complementing. The gospel is complete. Jesus' very words were that it is finished. (John 19:30)

It is finished. It is finished.

All of that pain from your past, is finished. All of your insecurities and incompetencies are finished. All of your sin and the life you used to have, they are finished.

The gospel is so powerful. The more that we draw away from the gospel, the more trouble we encounter. We run into incorrect theologies. We settle for lives that are less than the kingdom that Jesus brought. He said that He came so that we may have life and have it in abundance. (John 10:10)

This is why unity in the Body of Christ is so important. Jesus' one prayer for the disciples was so that we may be one, as He and the Father are one. The word says that the Body is being built and the head Body is Jesus. (Ephesians 3:12-13) We are that Body of Christ. We are the redeemed, saved, sanctified, transformed Body of Christ. If we have really received and believed and embraced this powerful Gospel, then we are the transformed Body, and as a Body, we are together. A Body that has been healed, changed and transformed is not a Body that is missing limbs. The Body is whole.

So my exhortation to the Body is to get back to the very basics of the Gospel. How powerful is the gospel to us, right now? How much have we accepted and embraced of it? And if we have, why are there limbs missing?

Let's take it to Jesus. Let Him redeem us and unite us as individuals and as a Church.

If you have a deep desire and passion to see the church united, join us in Washington DC tonight through Monday. Find the information here: http://www.awakenthedawn.org/