My Honesty Policy

This is the last picture John and I took together as a couple. Interestingly enough it was "Family Picture Day" at his church and I thought it was a good thing we took our picture together. 3 weeks after this picture was taken we broke up. It has been the biggest amount of pain I have been through in my whole life. Add this to the fact that I have had the hardest year of my life. John and I are still good friends and we are both slowly healing from this break. It has been incredibly hard for the both of us but we are fully aware this is the will of God.

Why am I talking about this? As things have gone in my life this past year I have been positioned in "like a child" season (Matthew 18:2-4). That means that right now, at this very moment, I want nothing more than God. and I will believe God more than anything or anyone else. I could tell you that God orchestrated all of this so that I will do his perfect will- in which I have disobeyed time and time again; this is what I believe anyway.  But I could also argue that things in life simply happen, because we live in a broken world and it is in the nature of that brokenness for very bad things to just happen.

I am going to be very honest about one of my sins: For many years God has called me to write. Not just blog. But write. I have seen the fruit of my writing in my personal life (journaling) or writing a post that inspires other people. I have failed at doing this time and time again. To be honest, I think I am scared of writing. Writing forces me to be honest with God, with myself and with others. I don't know how to do anything that involves God, me and others without ruthless honesty. And it scares me. Look around. No one really wants to be honest. Honest is messy. Honest is vulnerable. Honest is scary. But you know what else honest is? Honest is incredibly freeing. Even as I'm writing this post I feel a tremendous amount of peace.

I love it when people are honest with me and show me their true selves. I love it when they tell me what they really think or how they really feel even if it's wrong. I think God loves to dwell around people like that. You can read so many of David's Psalms and how he is asking the Lord to punish his enemies or expressing so much despair. We know that we are to love our enemies and that we are not to dismay before our circumstances but trust God. Yet God loved hearing David's cries and pleas.

So, this is going to be my commitment to God, to myself and to you: I'm going to publish a blog post every Friday. But every blog post is going to be ruthlessly honest. Can I ask you all a favor though? Keep me accountable. Ask me why I haven't posted if I stop doing it. If I write something that touches you, tell me. If you think it'll bless others, share it.

Thank you brothers and sisters for joining me on this journey of obedience and honesty. I hope it inspires you to begin your own. Blessings.